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"Ben's Pages"

From Ben's Desk--------"Ben has a point"
"The Need for Awareness Doesn't Stop"

One Sunday I walked into an eating establishment. I was met by the host. He said,-- "I'm sorry, but I think you've had too much to drink so would you come back another day."

For some reason I began to talk to him about my disability, which is Cerebral Palsy. The conversation went on and finally he said,

"I'm sorry I misunderstood - would you please follow me so I could seat you?"

I took the time to help him understand that I was disabled. He took the time to listen and to ask questions. It's important to be able to have a two way discussion when talking attitudes so both parties understand each other. The need for awareness doesn't stop there. Everyday someone is helping someone else to become aware about the issues facing the disabled.

What are you doing to help to make others aware?

Please email and tell us

Sincerely,

Ben D. Anderson CEO-- Break Through Inc.

See Ben's "Parent Groups" page at Break Through Inc. for information regarding his workshops and speaking for parents and families.

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"Looking Beyond the Cover"- by Ben D. Anderson-

I am reminded about human behavior as I think back about my childhood as a person with a disability. I remember all the times that I was picked on by my peers. I could not understand why? As I became an adult I discovered that people who pick on others are normally struggling with their own self image! I have asked many young people about this as I have traveled throughout the United States and spoken on the subject of disability. I have two questions.

#1- How many of you have been teased?

#2- How many of you have teased others?

Surprising enough, I find almost all the same hands come up on both questions. Only a few brave souls admit they struggle with self image. I would like to share a story with you that I often share with teenagers about 'Looking beyond the Cover'.

Once upon a time there was a crowd of people in an outdoor mall. In the middle the mall was a huge box. People were using the box to lean on. A little boy and his mother approached and the boy asked his mother if he could go and see the big box? His mother had been shopping all morning but finally gave in to her son and said they would go and look at the big box. As they got closer to the area the mother lost track of her son. She glanced up and saw him going through the legs of the grown ups so he could get closer to the box.
Like a parent she was embarrassed. But the boy got closer and closer to the box and when he got to the box he began to unwrap it as it was nicely wrapped with gift paper.

Suddenly the boy heard a tiny voice that seemed like it came from inside the box The boy continued to unwrap. And sure enough, as he opened the box there was person inside! The crowd was amazed and asked,
"why were you inside the box?"

The person said, "You put me in that box. I am a person with a disability and often have been made fun of as people misunderstand me. They look at my disability and rather than the person I really am. Why the box? The box becomes a 'safe place'. You put me there and I put myself there. At least there is more conversation about the box than my disability."

We human beings have a tendency to look at the outside of a person and begin to judge them by that.

Thankfully, there are people, like the boy in the story, that are able to look beyond the box, unwrap it, and to help that person to become his or her friend. Looking beyond the cover is the key to getting to know a person. I hope this story will help you and encourage you. Number one -- to understand that you are not alone in needing to find friends that will go beyond the cover to find your true self. Number two--- to avoid judging people by the cover and look deep inside to see the real person.

I understand about being overlooked and being chosen last. It has happened to me many times. It is a human behavior to look at the cover. My challenge to the us all is to look beyond the cover and find the wonderful person. Today I realize that I am a lot more than what people think I am. You are also a person with great gifts and talents. Let's all realize that we can go beyond our situation and dream about a great and adventurous future.

Ben’s Reflections

As I reflect on these last 30 years. I’m not only amazed about where this organization has been, but by the people that have touched my life and allowed me to be a part of theirs. One important piece of the organization in the early years was to do home visits. To sit down with families, listen to them, discuss their child, and try to give them some encouragement. I have always enjoyed getting together with families because many of them become life long friends.

It is always fun to meet different congregations and to represent people with disabilities. What a humbling experience it is to have someone come up afterwards and say, “Your words have touched my life.”

Whether it is at school, camp, church or an event it is joyful and challenging to work at youth gatherings. Youth are full of fun and excitement and many times I get caught up in their energy. You can’t help but get caught up in their energy. Kids add a new point of view and new hope.

After being at many businesses and universities I can see that people are interested in learning how to relate better to others with disabilities and how to deal with their own disabilities.

It is really hard to know the impact of the message I have given over the years. But one hopes that it helps people. Many times I have received notes from someone I have been with in the recent past and they talk about what my message meant to them on a personal level.

My wife Dee and I look forward to meeting many more friends in the next decade.

Ben D. Anderson